Creating Our Own Normal

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What is normal?

William Somerset Maugham said, “Normal is an ideal.  It is a picture that one fabricates of the average characteristics of men, and to find them all in a single man is hardly to be expected.”

That is why each of us creates our own normal.  Normal may be living with a disease, a handicap or the results of traumatic brain injury.  It’s the way we pursue our lives that creates our own normal.  Some will never walk without an artificial limb; some may never grow beyond age 12 mentally and socially, and some may be dependent on medicine to survive.  It’s what we do with our time here on earth that makes a difference, not only in our own lives, but those of others as well.

Unfortunately, anger can alter our time and alter the outcome like no other emotion – especially unexpressed anger.  I’ve been reading “8 Keys to Eliminating Passive-Aggressiveness” by Andrea Brandt.  It’s full of wonderful information and helpful tips on how to live your life without hidden anger.  And part of that hidden anger is admitting that we have it and forgiving ourselves and others who were unable to express it themselves.  We pass it from generation to generation and somewhere along the 4th or 5th generation we desperately need to break it down, call it out, and get over it while those we need to forgive are still alive.

Forgiving is the hardest part because we have to acknowledge that we haven’t done it right and need to.  Then we have to tell the person we forgive them, and then we can begin to move on.  A parent, a spouse, a child, a best friend, all can play into the drama we create in our heads. And that drama becomes all consuming.  It wasn’t until I took my own advice that I could move on – as a Congressional Aide I counseled people on issues from Social Security to building bridges.  So many times their dreams were based on getting even.  I would tell them, “You can move forward or get even, but there isn’t time, energy or money to do both”.

Without forgiveness, without expressing our anger in a healthy way, without sharing that growth with those you have forgiven, there can be no healing and we cannot find our own normal.  One beautiful woman in my life is learning about her own normal.  She’s diabetic – her day is dictated by test strips and needles.  Her bag of life weighs heavily on her shoulder or on the back of a very nearby chair.  It’s not fair, it’s not fun, it’s not easy – but she hasn’t lost her inner beauty.  It’s just the anger she harbors for her fate.  I have no doubt she’ll overcome this, in time, as she has so many other challenges she’s set her mind to.  Once she gets to forgiveness, she’ll get to expressing her anger and moving on.  It’s her own normal.

I’m Back

Dear Friends – – –

I’m sorry I haven’t posted for awhile.  I had planned to take a little time off this past winter to step back and regroup.  I did that, but then I agreed to help a local couple do a business plan and funding package for rebuilding the Escalante Show House and do live dinner theater performances beginning in 2015.  We’re almost ready to crowdsource it, just waiting for a couple of bids from contractors for the remodel costs.  They bought the property outright so now it’s finding the money for the rest.  A fun project.

I also spent the winter getting our retail establishment, Gallery Escalante, up to speed, completely turned around and a new sales counter area established.  That’s done and looks really nice.  It also makes it very clear for customers where they need to go and what is available for them.  It also makes the camera equipment safer being in the glass case.

Since I’m getting old I can only focus on one thing at a time – like a cat, I’m pretty single-minded at this point.  I have lists for lists and hope they don’t get lost.  But it’s been a wonderful winter and I hope yours has been as well.

Spring break is almost upon us and four days of it I’m headed to Las Vegas to holiday with family.  That will be fun as it is the only visit I’ve ever made there that is not connected to a trade show, either the jewelry and gift show or “CES”.  Both are fun in their own way, but very demanding time wise.  So I’ll go play tourist for four days and then come home and hit the ground running.  Hopefully we’ll get a little shopping done while there and play tourist.

I no sooner get home on the 13th and Tracy leaves for a photo excursion with friend for 4 days.  Then they return, a break in the travel and another of his photo buddies comes in for 5 days.  So March madness will be at our house too.  There won’t be any time to watch the real march madness (college basketball) until the final four.  I have several projects for myself while the “cats away”, we’ll see how much I get done.

This week is finish all the financials to get to the CPA before I leave on Sunday AM.  I’m close, but no cigar yet.            Until next time –

JR Signature013