I’m A No. 2

I’ve had lots of callings in my life.  Each one with a unique focus and outcome.  Most I’ve just followed along not questioning.  Others, I’ve fretted and cried over and wished I was somewhere else.  When I finally allowed things to evolve I realized why I was there.  And one, I didn’t realize until it was no longer part of my life, how I failed to achieve the desired result.

As a Leo I’m pretty Type A and love being in the spotlight.  The many years I played in an orchestra I enjoyed the limelight as much as the actual playing.  When I was a Congressional Aide I thrived in the spotlight and having the power to help people solve their problems.  What took me many years to acknowledge and learn to deal with?  I’m not a No. 1, I’m a No. 2.  My purpose is to support someone in a leading role.  Help orchestrate results and outcomes.  Help ease the journey for the person taking the lead.  I’m really good at that and that’s what I’m doing now with my best friend and spouse, Tracy.

Currently we’re in the process of building his workshop for lapidary and other works of art.  It’s basically constructed but now needs painting, lights, and cupboards.  He’ll spend the next two-three weeks getting all that finished.  With 90+ degree weather, he’s happy to be inside with air conditioning.  He ended up at the local ER for heat exhaustion last week, so getting him out of the excess heat has been the goal.

Now I can settle down and get some of my “to do” list checked off.  First, rewrite my bio on Linked In to focus on the baskets and bead work.  I really want to promote the custom ornaments.  At $100 each I can make a reasonable return on my investment of time. They make such a wonderful wedding gift.  And the rock candy baskets are perfect for kids.  At $7.50 they are an affordable gift for grandparents to make.  Those are only available at the rock and gem shows.

It’s going to be a good year, even though I’m losing my mom to Ovarian cancer.  She’s in stage 4, and sleeps most of the day and all night.  Her Hospice nurse gave her 2 months just about 2 months ago.  I’m expecting to get a call any day that she passed in her sleep.  That’s her wish, and mine as well.  She’s on stronger doses of morphine each week and now that she won’t be receiving her gamma globulin infusions we expect she will contract Pneumonia before long as she depends on her oxygen system to breathe. A sad end, but I’m so proud of her.  She’s trying to be very brave and we try and talk every day.  Sometimes she’s just in too much pain or very sleepy from the meds.

Two weeks ago we traveled to see her, probably for the last time.  We spent time talking about all sorts of things.  She told me some new stories which I’ve written down.  We took her out for one last luncheon at her favorite restaurant.  The last day Tracy spent time watching the flowers bloom while we had “girl time”.  We lay on her bed, because she’s too weak to stand up for very long.  She lay in my arms and we hugged, cried, laughed, shared stories, and said goodbye.  And then we left for home.

All the business of passing on is ready.  As her No. 2 I’ve tried to make her shine and keep her from feeling alone.  I will miss her, but know that she is at peace and after 25 years of pain from spinal stenosis, pain free.  I’m proud to have been her No. 2.  I’m grateful that I know what my calling is.  It gives me peace.

Until next time – – –

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About Jana Hassett

Growing up a Friday the 13th baby can be stressful without permission to use your magic wisely. But my journey has been full of once-in-a-lifetime adventures and a joy (for the most part). I've raised two daughters; have two grandchildren; created my own very successful line of beadwoven jewelry and ornaments; had leadership positions in political organizations; worked for a member of Congress; been a Journalist with a weekly column; a Book Reviewer; and now a Blogger. Over time this blog will contain my writings, book reviews, magazine articles, and ramblings (known as a platform) I'll use for the Historical Fiction I've started writing. Please ask questions, make comments, and suggest writing ideas. I value your input and ideas.